Who Criticizes The Critics?

By their very definition, a critic is a person who judges, evaluates, or analyzes literary or artistic works.

In the field of cinema--which is what I am concentrating on in this post--I have no problem whatsoever with this process, as I am neither a teenage fanboy, or an idiot.

Fact is, critical analysis matters: the arts and various creative mediums at work within the world invite discussion, and merit it because by their very existence they reveal valuable truths about the human condition and the society in which we operate.

And of course, to a lesser extent, analysis allows us to gauge whether or not we would enjoy the piece in question--which for those of us whose free time comes at a high premium, can be a more than helpful addition.

What I take issue with (read: what irritates) with regards to critics, are those who've apparently, and comprehensively, lost sight of the intrinsic subjectiveness of their being, resulting in them objectifying their verdict and quite literally transplanting their experience of the movie onto the reader.

So what you inevitably end up with are meaningless statements, juvenile attempts at psycho-analysis, and plain out insulting.

A case in point:

"This despicable trash will find an audience among sad sociopaths, deranged pseudo-intellectuals and brutalised, immature men of all ages. I just hope that there aren't enough of them to make it a hit. If there are, God help cinema. "

Naturally it's all very well written and suitably verbose--as you would expect it to be--but to the discerning observer it reveals little more than a complete asshat at work.

Let it be known (!), I absolutely adored Watchmen (pictured above). For me, it was a spectacle that dazzled and engaged in equal measure. Though I've never read the graphic novel on which it is based, I nevertheless found its characters interesting and, in one case--the case of the God-like Doctor Manhattan--thoroughly fascinating.

I do not take kindly to being told the reasons why I would enjoy this film, and not simply because those reasons were derogatory, either. The human psyche is more complex than that--and nobody, nobody, on this planet possesses such absolute and total knowledge about the human mind and its many and multi-faceted nuances to reach such unanimous conclusions.

But they do, and they continue to do so. And there's a very good reason why--and it's this: just like the characters in Watchmen, critics, regardless of their position and powers, are just like you and I.

I.e. some of them are--to repeat my previous usage of the word--complete asshats.